R Balki is overwhelmed by the response his quirky film Ki & Ka has received. He insists his film is not as much about role reversal as it’s about the freedom of choice. It’s not about gender equality either. “What’s gender equality?” he asks and continues, “One gender is already superior. Women are more beautiful and more intelligent than men. In fact they have lowered their standards just to bear us men.”

The concept of this ‘unique love story’ came to him in a random moment. A year ago, the director was seated in his office staring at nothingness when the idea struck him. “I believed that Arjun Kapoor would be right for the role of the husband. I called him and he was excited. I called Kareena (Kapoor Khan) too. She was eager. They liked the story about two people who choose to live the way they want.”

He emphasises that the film didn’t propagate the idea of men helping their wives in household chores. He was not wary of Kareena being older to Arjun either. “Male actors work with women 17 years younger than them. So why can’t a lady, who’s beautiful and looks a lot younger work with a young boy?” he asks. One reason he believes the film worked was because there was no didactic intent.  “We didn’t want to change mindsets. It’s just a reflection of the changing times. People are breaking rules to live their lives.”

At home too, he’s the non-interventionist husband even though he doesn’t see himself as a homemaker. “I love writing, making films. So for me being a house husband does not make sense at all. Gauri (Shinde/filmmaker) and I have a fantastic person as our house help,” he smiles. Like in his film, he doesn’t quite subscribe to the ‘woman behind a successful man’ adage. “There is a woman behind every successful relationship, there is a man behind every successful woman, that’s why it’s called a relationship. There’s no formula for a successful marriage, except for two people to continue being in love. The form of love may change. It may be romantic, passionate, towards the end there could be a lot of friendship and honesty. The best marriages are those where the husband and wife are best friends. Those marriages are happy marriages.”

He believes marriages in the film industry are coming in for an uncalled-for scrutiny. He attributes failed relationships to changing societal dynamics. “Earlier when people were not happy with each other, they continued living together. Today people have accepted the thought that you can be happy outside of marriage too.” He has strong views on infidelity too. According to him, when someone is not happy in a marriage, that’s when an extramarital affair happens. “It can also just happen because of the weakness of men and women,” he counters. But the happiest marriages are those where you never think of straying. If the couple is made of two best friends, then they will not go looking for a new friend.”

He lays importance on acceptance too. He adds that Gauri and he have accepted each other for what they are. “We haven’t changed each other’s lives. We’ve continued being ourselves.” He adds he’s impressed by Gauri’s attention to detail. “Gauri is passionate about her work, scripts... Her biggest strength is her mind. I love the way she thinks. She’s sensitive and she catches on to the minutest aspects in day to day life.” He feels his wife’s honesty is both endearing and a hindrance. “Sometimes she’s a little too honest. Sometimes you should keep things to yourself. She says everything  out aloud. That’s because she’s clean hearted.”

Talking about his career, he doesn’t see any difference in making ad films and feature films. “One’s an exhaustive medium and other’s short medium. But they’re both driven by ideas and the way you communicate them.” He believes the true heroes of the industry are the technicians working behind the scenes. “Writers, cinematographers, art directors, production designers, costume designers are the true achievers. Sadly, they’re not acknowledged the way they should be.” If it were up to him, he’d place writers above actors. “Writers should be paid the most. But I know it’s not possible, because people flock to the theatres to see the actors. That’s why actors are always number one.” He does have a plan B though. “A writer must be the highest paid person after the actor. If that happens, the industry will change for the better.”

Balki is not high on the current trend of remakes and biopics. It’s not the creative process he appreciates. “Why should I make a film that’s already made before? Why should I adapt a book? I know films like Kennedy, Neerja and Talvar are great, but I can’t make those films. I didn’t make that fact happen. How can I lay claim to its creation? I can be a writer only when I create something. I know it takes a lot of skill to write a movie like Talvar and Neerja but that’s not my area of interest,” he explains. His film Shamitabh was a distinctive story, but it didn’t do too well. After Shamitabh failed, he was disappointed but his actor Amitabh Bachchan and wife Jaya Bachchan called him every day to keep him positive. “After Paa, it had taken me six years to make the next film. Now that people had hated Shamitabh, I thought it would take me 10 years to get my next film working. But Amitji said, ‘I want you on the floor in the next four months.’ Amitji and Jayaji in fact threatened me. I could only laugh at their threats.” The next time Amitabh called him, Balki turned the tables and told him to shoot for a day. That’s how Jaya and Amitabh ended up featuring in that memorable scene in Ki & Ka.

He’s also a Shah Rukh Khan fan. He’s fascinated with SRK’s talent. His understanding of scripts and ideas is phenomenal he says. “He comes from a theatre background. I believe there’s more to his ability than we’ve seen.” He’s also looking forward to collaborating with Dhanush again. He believes the South sensation is nothing less than a magician.

He considers himself as someone who’s coasted through life smoothly. “I had a normal childhood. I’m a happy person that’s why I can’t make dark films. I’m not deep, I like light films.” He enjoys Karan Johar’s films the most. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham are his favourites. He also enjoyed good friend Ram Madhvani’s Neerja. And he looks up to the works of Manmohan Desai, SS Rajamouli, Balu Mahendra and Mani Ratnam. “I’m not inspired by directors. I’m inspired by films. The person who’s influenced me the most is music director Ilaiyaraaja. His music influenced me to become a filmmaker.” That’s why, perhaps, his films make music.

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